If you’ve ever been outside an airport near dawn, you’ll understand. If not, make a point of trying it sometime. It’s an interesting place to think in the wee hours of the morning. Though I do think the larger airports are preferable for it.

“Fly Away Free”

Outside, it is

inky black

as roads and lights

all hold their

breath; everywhere

the behemoth stirs,

stretching layers

of metal

and stone.

Artificial lights brighten

with the growing buzz

of action,

workers moving and bustling,

preparing for the coming wave.

Soon, people will

pour in, heavy and weighted,

before they

fly away free

into the air’s

graceful arms.

I, too, hold my breath,

I, too, am waiting,

until my silvery bird

comes to lift me from this

dark metal

cage, my momentum

growing with the

dawn before

I am

released -

Like a feather

into the sky,

leaping clear

of all my burdens.

Something based from a day I spent recalling memories of all the people I’ve ever missed; people who died, or who moved, or who just seemed to drift away into the abyss of their own lives…one way or another, they were no longer with me.

“Call”

I am so full of affection

for people no longer here.

They fell through my hands

like rainwater,

like snow petals,

like shattered glass.

In my mind I cradle them.

I speak with them.

They walk with me.

I want to know their stories;

Their eyes watch mine like darkened stones.

Sometimes I call out to them

and listen to the fading echo.

Sometimes I hear a soft reply;

More often, I don’t.

Today, patience is my lone companion.

I see a figure in the distance;

I stand, I wave, I look attentive,

but they’re far off still.

Perhaps one day they’ll

move this way. I make allowances.

They’ve wandered far,

they’ll come back when they’re ready.

These glimpses are all the news I receive.

I wish them well,

I wish them luck.

I give them all my time.

I wrote this in twenty minutes flat on a car ride to Nixa. I’d just left Republic, and wasn’t going to see the person I wanted to see for quite a while…wasn’t sure they’d want to see me anyways, given the chance. And the road that I was taking to Nixa was a backroad, one that weaved up and down hills and curved through the trees and just gave the the impression of being modeled after the waves of an ocean; or at least, that’s how I saw it. It was one of those autumn days where suddenly it was freakishly cold…there was snow.

“Waves”

The frozen waves of this concrete sea

Bear me so softly away from you -

Separate, unchanging, this gentle

Broken line of dirt and rock,

Sand and stone and

How I wish we could be together!

How pointless it all seems,

This pain, this separation.

With each rise, each fall,

Each wave,

Each breath I take,

The distance grows.

You’re a little farther away,

And when will I find you

Again? Tell me -

Why does this

Frozen sea seem to move

So swiftly? How will you

Remember me, once I am

Gone? Or

Will you simply slip back into

Dreams of shattered nights

And twilight, waking

Memories of days you’ve

Yet to spend? If I come

Back to you with

Years between us, will you still

Be the same? Will I fall into

Your sweet electric embrace

The same old way? Or

Will I find that

You and I have become

Disjointed, awkward, and

In the end we’ll split apart

And go

Our own ways?

But that cannot be -

For there is no path that,

In the end, does not lead

Back to you.

“Silence, Part I” was never really intended to have a second part. Around a year and a half after writing the first part, I found it and was struck by its truth, having viewed it with a fresh eye. And the second part just sort of…came into existence. My style had rather changed quite a bit, which is apparent because of the considerable stretch of time that separates the two. Somewhere in the middle, I’d started studying modern poetry, which definitely changed and affected things for me. But anyways…yeah.

“Silence, Part II”

This silence,

it tears my world apart -

More than the voice

of a premonition, the silence

is a flashing red light,

a warning in play,

the calm before a storm

and the still that follows.

As you fade, your

joys, your sorrows, your memories

blend and twist

until all that remains

is the drifting smoke

of the extinguished fire

It wanders the atmosphere,

a shadow

of what it once was,

and I scream out for that

fading shadow.

This cold,

it pierces my heart;

These shadows,

they cling to my mind -

This silence, it tears my world apart.

Another quite old poem of mine…I still can’t decide, endless months later, if I like it or hate it. I remember the night I wrote it, though I would gladly forget it, given the chance. But, it is what it is, I suppose.

“Silence, Part I”

Your breathing once filled me, its rise and its fall

That rhythm has left me, I can’t hear it’s call

Without you here by me, there’s just empty motion

The moments drift by without aim or intention

This night has no ending, the days have lost track

The lamplight is cold, it’s your warmth that I lack

Still searching for meaning, there’s no resting place

The quiet is restless and fills in your space

Lovers are empty without one another

Only my thoughts of you keep me together

Stumbling through life and its lingering dark

The silence here opens and pulls me apart

Glimmers of you cannot last me out here

I need you, need every last inch of you near

You live in my thoughts, but that’s far away still

Time echoes inside me but I’m never filled

Your peace has gone cold and I am left searching

The dawn is a threat that is too long in coming

Alone here again with the ache of my heart

The silence here opens and pulls me apart

Without you this silence will tear me apart

Hello all! This is my first post…why I am pointing that out, I have no idea…and I’m kind of out-of-it right now, cause it’s 2:30 in the morning and I’m in the middle of making bread and frying cheese…but yeah. Anyways. Hope you like it, I suppose. | Wrote this quite a while back, in kind of a tired frenzy, but then, that’s how virtually all of my non-terrible stuff comes about…

“Lady”

Blue veins pulse under soft smooth skin

Hiding the death that lies within

Peeking out through youthful eyes

Laughter cutting like sharpened knives

Dancing steps weave a web of despair

Fingers reach, clutching at desolate air

Your love, your light, your inspiration

Source of all your screamed frustration

Find only mirrors behind closed doors

Hope merely dies, while depression endures

It has really been awhile, and alot has happened…. I just wanted to start out my new time here with my latest writing.

Love you guys!

On the battlefield, she was fearless.

She was no less this day. He had seen her fall…Had seen the look in her eyes, that carnal knowledge of death.

He had never run faster…

Fought harder…

The men around them held their own now, anger and a spirit of vengeance surging through them.

His sword now lay forgotten.

His hand held hers, the other holding her head, stroking her hair with idle fingers…Her blood blended in with the crimson of her kimono.

Even while dying, she was beautiful.

Her lips opened, and whispered words issued forth.

Her voice captured him. It hurt him, knowing he would never again hear it… He listened closely.

“ I’ve failed my people..Failed you..I’ll not die here, without fighting until I no longer breathe.”

Her strength amazed him still, though he could not stand the thought of her suffering. He knelt close… Breathed in lilies and cherry blossoms…

And spoke.

“No go through to the next world, where you will walk among the halls of your people, and they will be there cheering your name..They will throw cherry blossoms to your feet, and worship you forever.”

She smiled at him, and her eyes took on a sparkle that was meant only for him.

“ I wish not to leave you. I-“

He cut her off with a soft finger, his weak smile trembling.

“ I will be there with you, after my life is finished.. I will tap on your shoulder, and you will know I am there.”

She lifted a hand, perfectly sculpted ivory, and graced it along his jaw.

“ I love you.”

The hand fell into his lap, and that sparkle faded.. Limpness and cold seeped into her body, and his first tear fell…

He hadn’t gotten to tell her.

She walked among her people, smiling and waving as they cheered her name, inhaling the soft, sweet scent of the cherry blossoms at her feet.

A tap on her shoulder caused her to jump as she turned.

He was there, as he had promised… His arms wrapped around her, and drew her close… The voices of the crowds faded as their lips touched for the first time. He opened his mouth, and uttered the words that had been too late.

“ I Love You, Too..”

While discussing certain topics during a training regimine at work, our trainer mentioned a website for online training in many software areas, from operating systems, to content management systems for web programming; from your favorite application programming language, to your favorite 3D animation studio. Learn about these things in a pay-for-service, classroom or workshop type setting. If interested, check out their website for more information:

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Listen to these songs as you read:
Eagles – Hole In The World
Eagles – Seven Bridges Road
Eagles – Love Will Keep Us Alive

As I sit here listening to these songs, I am reminded of certain events in our recent past. As an American, I am reminded of the events of late 2001, where we lost 2500+ people to an attack on one of the largest cities in the northern hemisphere. Without declaring war publicly, cowards tore at the fabric of the United States with several stolen jets and hundreds of hijacked, terror-encapsulated lives in hand. We were rocked to the core. And still yet, after extremely poor economic conditions have plagued us, and retaliation has reflected the nature of the world in accurate and just repudiation of tyranny, which has pressed us into a mortar of self-distrust; a country erupts. We represent an entire timeline of fire. We find no justice in lies and we bring forth no error in blunt reverences toward heroism. People of the world unite knowing that children exist with parents engulfed in the fiery chasm that is a 500,000 ton burial chamber. We know that these children will learn to love the world despite their horrific circumstance. They will stand tall knowing they can overcome anything.

As a human living on this beautiful planet, I find no fault in the pains we give to the molten rock we inhabit. The ones we exalt as leaders in preservation, the ones we lift as heroes onto the shoulders of humanity for recycling and re-habilitating this lively place; should be praised with an energy rivaling the stars’ combined force of expulsion. We need not speakers of the faith. We need not wraiths of religion or politics. I can tell you, my fellow man, that we need the power within. It resides in you. It beckons not only your action, but your electric presence. The sheer significance of your wit will trump the dismal flight of the ignorant. Your concise rank and file dedication to our progress will preside over the thoughtless abandon that exists within the apathetic.

As a friend, I see a comrade. I see a soldier who fights for the charismatic purpose onto which bloody papers I have cosigned. Ages have passed since our insurrection, but seconds have passed since our salvation. When I look up, into the dark blue, I do see the light. There is shadow all the same, but there is warmth as unexpected as the colonial union. What are we if not together in this place? Our battles reside in a moment, but the explosion lasts an eternity. Life does not exist without strife. We gather not smiles without pain. When on the plain, do you not see rays of hopeful light under ash-laden cloud? This world encapsulates the undeserving inhabitants. We must be appreciative.

As a father, I see the flicker of life in her eye. I see the moment we become one. There he is now, the model of our person, sent to survive in a world we have created. Fathers drove the stake, we wrapped the cloth, and sons must finalize the shelter for this stormy sentience. Again, a pleasure cruise exists only in dream; a peaceful golden field blends with reverie for the hopeful; and we finally see that all seas of green endure timeless embers. Life, in its entirety, is beautiful beyond artist’s words.

Sun Rising: “On a path not yet taken, striving toward a trek for a Land never seen. Inside myself constant battles tally the weak and strong. A world all to the unknown seeking The Light to shed the answers. Joys that can only be felt in my own head and hardships to match. A trek i see myself on and look back and can only smile.
Beautiful visions acompany me but with them the coldest of Hells. A struggle always within myself. But as you glance to see me behind you keep a good eye, the back of my head and the sunset in your eye you’ll come to see” I said.
(Notes) eager to fight, learning new, challenging the laws that make the world.

Sun Overhead: “Dividing my attention between two worlds. Most times mine is better than the one we all live in. Floating between the two worlds. Not paying much attention to what is going on.” Im saying.
(Notes)tired of fighting, but want to find something I’ve never had.

Sunset: (Notes) through fighting, I have the feeling I was searching for. I’ve made my decision where I want to stay.

“The ringing of the division bell” – Pink Floyd