Another quite old poem of mine…I still can’t decide, endless months later, if I like it or hate it. I remember the night I wrote it, though I would gladly forget it, given the chance. But, it is what it is, I suppose.

“Silence, Part I”

Your breathing once filled me, its rise and its fall

That rhythm has left me, I can’t hear it’s call

Without you here by me, there’s just empty motion

The moments drift by without aim or intention

This night has no ending, the days have lost track

The lamplight is cold, it’s your warmth that I lack

Still searching for meaning, there’s no resting place

The quiet is restless and fills in your space

Lovers are empty without one another

Only my thoughts of you keep me together

Stumbling through life and its lingering dark

The silence here opens and pulls me apart

Glimmers of you cannot last me out here

I need you, need every last inch of you near

You live in my thoughts, but that’s far away still

Time echoes inside me but I’m never filled

Your peace has gone cold and I am left searching

The dawn is a threat that is too long in coming

Alone here again with the ache of my heart

The silence here opens and pulls me apart

Without you this silence will tear me apart

Hello all! This is my first post…why I am pointing that out, I have no idea…and I’m kind of out-of-it right now, cause it’s 2:30 in the morning and I’m in the middle of making bread and frying cheese…but yeah. Anyways. Hope you like it, I suppose. | Wrote this quite a while back, in kind of a tired frenzy, but then, that’s how virtually all of my non-terrible stuff comes about…

“Lady”

Blue veins pulse under soft smooth skin

Hiding the death that lies within

Peeking out through youthful eyes

Laughter cutting like sharpened knives

Dancing steps weave a web of despair

Fingers reach, clutching at desolate air

Your love, your light, your inspiration

Source of all your screamed frustration

Find only mirrors behind closed doors

Hope merely dies, while depression endures

Listen to these songs as you read:
Eagles – Hole In The World
Eagles – Seven Bridges Road
Eagles – Love Will Keep Us Alive

As I sit here listening to these songs, I am reminded of certain events in our recent past. As an American, I am reminded of the events of late 2001, where we lost 2500+ people to an attack on one of the largest cities in the northern hemisphere. Without declaring war publicly, cowards tore at the fabric of the United States with several stolen jets and hundreds of hijacked, terror-encapsulated lives in hand. We were rocked to the core. And still yet, after extremely poor economic conditions have plagued us, and retaliation has reflected the nature of the world in accurate and just repudiation of tyranny, which has pressed us into a mortar of self-distrust; a country erupts. We represent an entire timeline of fire. We find no justice in lies and we bring forth no error in blunt reverences toward heroism. People of the world unite knowing that children exist with parents engulfed in the fiery chasm that is a 500,000 ton burial chamber. We know that these children will learn to love the world despite their horrific circumstance. They will stand tall knowing they can overcome anything.

As a human living on this beautiful planet, I find no fault in the pains we give to the molten rock we inhabit. The ones we exalt as leaders in preservation, the ones we lift as heroes onto the shoulders of humanity for recycling and re-habilitating this lively place; should be praised with an energy rivaling the stars’ combined force of expulsion. We need not speakers of the faith. We need not wraiths of religion or politics. I can tell you, my fellow man, that we need the power within. It resides in you. It beckons not only your action, but your electric presence. The sheer significance of your wit will trump the dismal flight of the ignorant. Your concise rank and file dedication to our progress will preside over the thoughtless abandon that exists within the apathetic.

As a friend, I see a comrade. I see a soldier who fights for the charismatic purpose onto which bloody papers I have cosigned. Ages have passed since our insurrection, but seconds have passed since our salvation. When I look up, into the dark blue, I do see the light. There is shadow all the same, but there is warmth as unexpected as the colonial union. What are we if not together in this place? Our battles reside in a moment, but the explosion lasts an eternity. Life does not exist without strife. We gather not smiles without pain. When on the plain, do you not see rays of hopeful light under ash-laden cloud? This world encapsulates the undeserving inhabitants. We must be appreciative.

As a father, I see the flicker of life in her eye. I see the moment we become one. There he is now, the model of our person, sent to survive in a world we have created. Fathers drove the stake, we wrapped the cloth, and sons must finalize the shelter for this stormy sentience. Again, a pleasure cruise exists only in dream; a peaceful golden field blends with reverie for the hopeful; and we finally see that all seas of green endure timeless embers. Life, in its entirety, is beautiful beyond artist’s words.

Sun Rising: “On a path not yet taken, striving toward a trek for a Land never seen. Inside myself constant battles tally the weak and strong. A world all to the unknown seeking The Light to shed the answers. Joys that can only be felt in my own head and hardships to match. A trek i see myself on and look back and can only smile.
Beautiful visions acompany me but with them the coldest of Hells. A struggle always within myself. But as you glance to see me behind you keep a good eye, the back of my head and the sunset in your eye you’ll come to see” I said.
(Notes) eager to fight, learning new, challenging the laws that make the world.

Sun Overhead: “Dividing my attention between two worlds. Most times mine is better than the one we all live in. Floating between the two worlds. Not paying much attention to what is going on.” Im saying.
(Notes)tired of fighting, but want to find something I’ve never had.

Sunset: (Notes) through fighting, I have the feeling I was searching for. I’ve made my decision where I want to stay.

“The ringing of the division bell” – Pink Floyd

Here I set…on this man made rock wall

Listening to the cicadas

I can’t think of a thing to write

The end of the Summer is nearing

But the only thing this means anymore

Is the time for changing season

Moving from smothering warmth to beautiful breezes

That brush over your skin and through your hair

Laced with the cooling respite of fall

My eyes keep drawing from the trees

To the falling sun as it sinks

Past my sight bringing this days end

The first star appears in the sky

‘The clouds getting darker and heavier

As they move over the city

The last streaks of sunshine disappear

With the coming of nightfall.

A couple of sparrows rehearse a slow sweeping tango

As the lights flicker on, one by one.

It truly is beautiful 0 the combination of calm

In the middle of hundreds of thousands

As though finding peace amongst anxiety of chaos

A necessity we fulfill without realizing we are even in need.

I set with my chin on my knee

Closing my eyes simply to listen

Hearing the rhythm, the beat of Nature’s heart.

Untempered by modern settings…

How often do we just set and hear what our world has to say to us?

What does it take to step outside

Purposely to enjoy what we are given.

Simplicity. Serenity. Beauty as it is intended.

Not forced – just there.

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The uncertainty has me terrified.
Eyes of the world keep me inadequate and scrutinized.
A place I don’t think I can survive.
I must make home where I am afraid and others don’t understand,
the more I try to help realize, the more I sink in the sand.
Setting camp on what is known as the Cursed Land.
My hands are reaching for the tools that every man must obtain,
But held back by the sickness that i cannot explain.
Doomed to a life, a place, from where i may not return.
Waving my arms but raises no concern.
A life of misery i have to live and learn.

All my plants are dead now, leaving a crimson shadow of ther once briliance.
My wilted, once beautiful, roses as dry as dust.
What is happening here…
Why wont the sun shine like it used to?
No clear light to feed them, no water to quinch thier dying thurst.
Everyone is gone.
In This Place visitors are the demonic ghosts of my dearest friends and the darkness thats never left unfelt.
Starving of an appetite i can never fill, Here, my thurst can never be satisfied.
Forever is Here, in This Place is Hell.

No one can come with me to where I must go. A place black as coal and cold as ice. To wrap my mind in anxiety and sorrow. And to leave this place full of stimulation and reaction. To a cocoon custom made for me. When the mind gets no better and no worse.

Sacrifice all happiness for no more pain. Sacrifice yourself to feel a little numb. Take on every worry and every sad thought. Remember every painful memory all at once. And slip away into the darkness where you can’t be seen. You can’t be seen and you can’t be touched. The world doesn’t exist and you choose not to acknowledge.

All the pain can’t match the joy I allow myself to feel. Stored all inside the actions I worshiped are killing me now. So different inside the show I portray out. The way my heart feels is the exact opposite to the face you remember. I’m hurting more than myself by feeling this way. So goodbye for now to a journey that begins far, far away.

~ May, 2007

Something tells me there’s something wrong in my life. When I have images of standing in blood with my favorite knife. When the sun never rises to offer a new day. With hidden thoughts that I dare not to say. When I wake up and I don’t care to rise from bed. Would the world worsen if I were dead?

Because I have nothing to share for ALL my pain. I have nothing to give to all those who depend on me. I reform to act out the thoughts that race through my brain. When I could swear I had wings to fly away with to be free.

I thought I could take any quest that came my way. Now my defense is so shattered, at any chance I run away. I say that my wall is too damn tall to climb. But demons influence evil through me all the time. Then again happiness doesn’t come from just who you may be. Take a chance, make a risk, you’ll find out, you will see.

~ Summer, 2007

This.. isn’t one of my favorite literary ideas, nor is it something i think could, or would, make a good book…. It’s just something I’ve thought up, and intent to follow through on…

Kids… Thats all we were then. Before all the dissapearances…the killing. The six of us had never known each-other, except me and my little brother… But If I could go back and change a bit of it, I never would. We grew so much through that, we became a true family…We learned that ” United We Stand, Divided We Fall ” wasn’t just something you read on a shirt. We were young, yeah…but we were together..we were strong.. and no matter what happened, we would never forget each-other.

That struck me as something you would read on the cover of some romance novel though..but I dont really want to change it…

It’s true what they say, isn’t it? That bad things happen to good people? All it takes is a mere moment of reflection for anyone with even an ounce of observance to know that such a statement is true… Yes, bad things seem to almost compliment the good people of the world, searching for innocence and disrupting the quiet of it, turning it into burning hatred, or dark suspision… Pushing people to kill, or to abandon…Some say that death is a bad thing… But you really must ask yourself, Is it really so bad? Does death not free you from the bonds of the world? Yes, these questions need to be asked, but there is no true answer, and such questions are made forfeit to the world’s brutality…

Why must I write such things?  I’m not sure… but I know them to be true to myself, and I know them to make sense to me, and is that not what truly matters? that you know and understand what is truly within each of us?

Food for thought, people….D-Ty

( Just ranting, that was…. not sure why..)